Aloneness is an Illusion
A good friend of mine was telling me about his general feeling in life today and told me that he feels alone. He has a wife and child and he is struggling to make any business go that will work, partly because others involved all have different opinions. He’s a bit down. Then he said that it was good to be alone actually because we come into this world alone and we leave it alone, and that all the others were just co-passengers from birth to death. I love this friend actually, and respect so much of what he has to say and share with me, but I told him that it was a bit silly to say that it was good to be alone for that reason (often speaking to myself as much as to anyone else).
I said that we spend more time connecting with others in life and that is where we get the important lessons. That connection is where we become better at loving and being loved. Birth and death are just moments. Granted, they are biggies, but we are connected to everyone ALL the time. We just have a hard time seeing and feeling it, especially when we surround ourselves with people who don’t know how to care for us, or we don’t make efforts to go out and make new friends to care about and that can care about us in return.
While my friend’s reasons may be very specific for feeling alone today (overwhelm, pressure, and fear), and he may have meant that it was good to learn how to deal with his worries on his own because no one else was going to do it for him, it got me thinking. I was stuck pondering the state of aloneness generally, how it feels, what we all could consider and maybe do about it.
I have been blessed in this life with a spiritual understanding and knowledge that I MUST work to improve myself in order to be more connected. I must make the effort to learn in order to feel the love and support that is available to us all if we seek it. Having a sad story myself, as most people do at one point or another, it is hard enough to survive WITH this knowledge and faith. I can’t imagine how people survive their miseries WITHOUT a spiritual understanding. The darkness that can envelop them may become overwhelming to the point of living a black life, or worse, choosing not to live it anymore.
We are not alone
Personally, I believe that each one of us is surrounded by brothers and sisters, both in body and in spirit. Some are right outside your door or at the market or the library. Others we cannot see. Many are by our sides, bathing us with God’s compassion and love, as we undergo the most difficult trials, imagining we are alone. They are the ones who help us to find the strength to overcome the most arduous of times when we think we are on our own with no one there for us.
Regardless of whether you believe in something greater that holds us up or not, the proof is in the pudding when it comes to loneliness or loving – if you look at who is around you with love, and also go out and find more people who you perceive as capable of caring, treating them all with love in your heart as a willful practice, you will experience a transformation in your life. You will experience a change that begins to light up the darkness. More people will love you back, and as well, the people you are already with may be affected positively by your practice. For me, this is all a proof that there is a system in place, a system of love, put there as evidence to wave back at us and let us know that we are not alone.
Do something about it
All the good things on our journey take effort.
If you are feeling alone, and long for connection with others, then test the system, test the love and support that is out there.
If you are a spiritual person, do this by praying and inviting your invisible family close to you – you will experience the difference.
If you are not spiritual, or simply wish multiple solutions – handing back a dropped pen, giving up your spot in line, asking how someone is, are all opportunities to start a conversation with someone else and share the love in your heart.
Don’t be afraid to talk to others. Just say what is on your mind (within respectful reason). Some won’t be prepared for you, but others will welcome your refreshing, engaging approach.
If you are unable to make yourself speak, then even a smile while you work or volunteer or walk down the street, making eye contact, with love in your heart for your fellow human beings, will bring about a positive shift. In this way, you will be approached by the incarnate or the invisible, and in this quest to awaken the sleeping connection, you will consciously respond in turn. You will eventually find communion that goes as deep as you ask for or are willing to go.
Fly above your dark clouds and seek out the other lonely brothers and sisters waiting for you to reach out. Look at the loving ones who are reaching out to you. You have nothing to lose except for your fear and solitude. You have everything to gain. Those people, those souls are all there with you even when you don’t realize it. Invite them in to visit or walk out the door and practice communing with them. You will see that we are never really alone.