6/18/2016
Challenges
Sometimes I sit in my fears, trapped as an American mother in the country of Australia, not a place I chose intentionally, by an Ex who is always threatening Daughter’s time with me legally, blindly wreaking vengeance in so many ways. He simply chooses to be our perfect storm, a role that he decided to play consciously or unconsciously. For love of my daughter, I am isolated from family and past friends, about as far from anywhere else in the world as one can possibly get, materially and physically.
With a mild case of a disorder causing me some physical issues, no resources and my qualifications not accepted in this country, I find myself needing to survive and create a completely new existence. I am surrounded by constant, seemingly unmanageable details that need to be handled. Some days I feel I must be okay in the end, for myself and for my daughter, and other days I feel I will be consumed alive. Practicing forgiveness as much as I am capable (an ongoing endeavor), I consider what it means to live in the present moment, and in recovering, I think maybe I could begin to walk my talk again.
We are ALL subject to some challenge or another that seems insurmountable, at one point or another in our lives, making it very difficult to live in the present moment.
And there will always be more challenge.
Surviving into the Present Moment
Regardless of your belief system, there are things that can be done to recover from these seemingly impossible tragedies. Some that might help could be to reach out to your kindest friends, list out any good things in life you can think of, reconnect with a spiritual path, or do something you love.
Friends. If you don’t have any, you go out and find one. Today. That friend may not be able to do anything more than listen, but the unburdening of yourself to someone who cares can work an amazing magic. It can bring you back to an ability to focus on any good thing there may be remaining in your life during times of difficulty. It is a great part of what we are here for. Many don’t realize this, but we all belong to each other through duty and joy.
Another thing we can do is to take stock of the good things that still exist. There are ALWAYS some that we don’t see because our minds naturally gravitate to the things that don’t feel right. Maybe you have time with your child in the middle of a horrific divorce. That time can still be the most precious shining light in the middle of the madness. Maybe you have a good job or a home and food to eat. Maybe you have a car for transport to the mountains, or a lovely vantage point, to breathe some fresh air and see your home from a different perspective. Maybe you have a latent talent that it is time to explore. Maybe you have family nearby to support you or maybe you have new friends to be there in the absence of family…
Spiritual connection can be very important in connecting to the present moment and surviving great challenges. Maybe you have a spiritual practice that you have let slide, but amazing things can happen to bring you to a happier present moment if you begin to tend that garden again. The mind can be spurred into heights that have the potential to make our earthly tragedies diminish in the grand scheme of things by reading or practicing spiritual things.
Still another thing to try, among many, might be to do something you love, or try something new you think you could love.
You deserve to create space for yourself between the terrible past and a seemingly bleak future. When you do that thing you love, do it consciously, with all your mind and heart. It is a practice that will alter your perception of the moment, and change your future. Put aside your plights for that moment. Lose yourself in every detail of the activity. Feel the texture, watch the creation, and make yourself aware of the new thoughts that arise in your mind. Marvel over how much more interesting that is than spending your time rolling the same sad thoughts about life over and over through your head.
You will see your present feeling start to shift. There are usually things to be done to find yourself again in a moment of happiness and appreciation for the great gift of life.
It may not happen fast (though it might click quickly), but if you determine to join the present. It WILL happen according to the effort you use to put into it.
The Present Moment…For Now
So I sit feeling the stresses, but the lights are turned on here and there, as I remember the story of the man running from angry bears. He jumps over a cliff and catches a branch to hang onto, halfway up from the ground where he sees hungry tigers below, waiting for him to fall. Next to him he sees a small bunch of perfect, ripe strawberries growing. He reaches to pick one and puts it in his mouth, finding it delicious.
We don’t really know what happens next, but we are not living our lives unless we fight for the moment to find every good detail that we can in our present. I do not know what the next moment holds. However, now no longer sitting, but out for a ride to stretch my body and mind, I write these words. I am stopped in the street at the curb, with my bike steadied between my legs, phone notes in hand, typing these inspired thoughts, and I feel wholly and fully ALIVE, in THIS moment.